Simply Dondrae: Are You Really A Teamplayer???

Simply Dondrae: Are You Really A Teamplayer???: From 8am-4: 30pm, I work with people who are trying to get back into the workplace. One of the interview questions I constantly prepare ...

Simply Dondrae: If Today Was The Last Day Of Your Life...

Simply Dondrae: If Today Was The Last Day Of Your Life...:      What's good everyone?! We're back with another guest post by another gifted thinker who just so happened to put his thoughts down ...

That’s how God made me

“That’s how God made me” is a statement that can be very freeing – or completely enslaving. Like it’s reverse, “That’s not how God made me” it can make your life, and the lives of those around you, far better or much worse.

There are things about us that are innate, they are who we are, they are how we are made, and we either can’t do anything about those things, or can’t do anything about them without deeply harming who we are. Things like being an introvert, or being optimistic – these are personality traits that we can not turn around 180° just by force of will. When we accept those things that are who we are as who we are, we can stop worrying about them, or beating ourselves over them, or wasting time trying to change them, or being harmed by those who want us to be different.

On the other hand, some folks use this idea to try and excuse themselves from being decent people. They want to believe that being rude, or always grumpy, or pushy, or always exaggerating, are something God made them – and thus something they can’t change. Folks who do this can be difficult to be around, as their unloving or bad behaviour will continue unchecked, and without remorse.

It can be tough to decide what is “how God made me” and what is not, but the Bible gives us some very good help on this:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.     [Gal 5:22-26 NKJV]

Getting to the Root of the Matter

I did not come to bring peace but a sword —Matthew 10:34

Never be sympathetic with a person whose situation causes you to conclude that God is dealing harshly with him. God can be more tender than we can conceive, and every once in a while He gives us the opportunity to deal firmly with someone so that He may be viewed as the tender One. If a person cannot go to God, it is because he has something secret which he does not intend to give up— he may admit his sin, but would no more give up that thing than he could fly under his own power. It is impossible to deal sympathetically with people like that. We must reach down deep in their lives to the root of the problem, which will cause hostility and resentment toward the messager. People want the blessing of God, but they can’t stand something that pierces right through to the heart of the matter.

If you are sensitive to God’s way, your message as His servant will be merciless and insistent, cutting to the very root. Otherwise, there will be no healing. We must drive the message home so forcefully that a person cannot possibly hide, but must apply its truth. Deal with people where they are, until they begin to realize their true need. Then hold high the standard of Jesus for their lives. Their response may be, "We can never be that." Then drive it home with, "Jesus Christ says you must." "But how can we be?" "You can’t, unless you have a new Spirit".

FIND HAPPINESS IN THE SMALLEST THINGS

Sometimes it's just the smallest things that make me happy.

I was taking out the recycling this morning in my jammies (well, the sweatpants and T-shirt I slept in, which were OK for public, at least in my neighborhood early in the morning, or so I say!) and it occurred to me how happy I was in that moment.

As I loaded up the glass, newspaper and plastic bottles (I know, I'm working on eliminating those bottles, too!), I looked at the eastern sky with the sun coming up and the dew on the grass and the birds chirping away and in that moment, it just didn't seem like life could get much better.

And I noticed that feeling.

That's the key.

Are you aware in any given moment exactly how you are feeling? Do you ever just check in at random times to see?

I wonder what we would notice if we did that more often. What do you think you'd find? More moments of happiness or more moments of frustration, anger, upset, stress?

I found this on a blog this morning (the same place I found the photo above). Makes you think. When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life.

When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when i grew up.
I wrote down "happy."
They told me I didn't understand the assignment
and I told them they didn't understand life.

What are "they" telling you that just doesn't matter anymore? Who are "THEY" anyway?

Feel happy today. Remember what that feels like and recreate it. Anytime. Anyplace.

I know you can do it!

Awareness

I'm thinking this morning about why it seems the people who are already the most aware are the ones who keep learning and growing and those who seem to "need it" the most are those who remain in the dark.

I hear stories all the time about other people who appear to be really lacking in areas like communication skills, compassion, empathy, respect, understanding. Rarely do we have conversations which involve ourselves and the lessons we can take from those others who seem to monopolize many of our waking hours (and sometimes even our restless sleeping hours).

In Good to Great, Jim Collins wrote about those others in the section about "First Who, Then What" when he said that leaders in organizations spend most of their time dealing with people who maybe shouldn't even be on the bus, instead of concentrating on first getting the people off the bus who shouldn't be there, then getting the right people on the bus and in the right seats. Only then should the bus driver decide where to go (not sure I agree with the order of that comment, but that's neither here nor there).

He said that often leaders are spending way more time on the people who probably shouldn't even be on the bus in the first place, thereby neglecting those champions who aren't really getting much positive attention.

Here's another way to explain that. The percentages may be different for different organizations, but let's assume there is 10% of an organization's employees who are wildly loyal and would do anything for the organization, 10% of an organization's employees who can never be pleased no matter what, and 80% of the employees who lie somewhere in the middle and can be swayed either way.

What happens most of the time is that the attention of the managers and supervisors goes to the bottom 10%, or those people who will never come around anyway. So where the attention goes, there goes the 80%. Instead, wouldn't it make more sense to spend more time rewarding and appreciating the behavior we want to attract the 80% in that direction?

This probably comes from our conditioning as little kids. We hear "NO" far more often than we hear "YES" growing up, so it would stand to reason that we spend more time trying to get others to agree with us than we do with those who already do.

Sometimes just coming to a new awareness is what it takes to get us to see things differently. And it seems those new "aha"s are most sustainable when we come to them on our own, instead of when we are pushed or coerced or forced to take them from others, especially others in authority.

So today, just notice something that frustrates or upsets you and pause. Take a deep breath and try to understand why you are upset. What is the message for you in that upset? If that something is actually someone, is there a chance for a different conversation? Might you ask a question instead of give a command? Maybe there's a way to use the three magic words in a conversation: "Help me understand."

Of course, the key is that you recognize the upset. We really do train people how to treat us by the way we show up. If people are giving you clues through their body language, that's probably the best information you can get, since 55% of communication is visual.

The only person you can change is you with the help of GOD. But first you have to be aware.

No Condemnation

Are you feeling guilty about something? Maybe something you’ve done in your marriage?

As a Christian, if you’ve repented and asked for forgiveness, then God promises to forgive you. Not only that, but He chooses to forget that sin even happened.

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus
Romans 8:1 (NKJV)

Forget about your past and quit beating yourself up over it. The past can’t be changed. But by dwelling on the past, it will negatively affect your present and future.

Having repented and having your sins forgiven AND forgotten, there’s no reason to keep reminding God of it. He wants to help you do and be better in the here and now, on into the future.

So quit letting satan talk you into feeling guilty about your past. Tell him that God’s forgiven you and that you’re moving forward in your life through Christ. A life that’s free from guilt and condemnation. A life that you’re going to allow God to lead away from that sin and into His blessings.