Getting to the Root of the Matter

I did not come to bring peace but a sword —Matthew 10:34

Never be sympathetic with a person whose situation causes you to conclude that God is dealing harshly with him. God can be more tender than we can conceive, and every once in a while He gives us the opportunity to deal firmly with someone so that He may be viewed as the tender One. If a person cannot go to God, it is because he has something secret which he does not intend to give up— he may admit his sin, but would no more give up that thing than he could fly under his own power. It is impossible to deal sympathetically with people like that. We must reach down deep in their lives to the root of the problem, which will cause hostility and resentment toward the messager. People want the blessing of God, but they can’t stand something that pierces right through to the heart of the matter.

If you are sensitive to God’s way, your message as His servant will be merciless and insistent, cutting to the very root. Otherwise, there will be no healing. We must drive the message home so forcefully that a person cannot possibly hide, but must apply its truth. Deal with people where they are, until they begin to realize their true need. Then hold high the standard of Jesus for their lives. Their response may be, "We can never be that." Then drive it home with, "Jesus Christ says you must." "But how can we be?" "You can’t, unless you have a new Spirit".

FIND HAPPINESS IN THE SMALLEST THINGS

Sometimes it's just the smallest things that make me happy.

I was taking out the recycling this morning in my jammies (well, the sweatpants and T-shirt I slept in, which were OK for public, at least in my neighborhood early in the morning, or so I say!) and it occurred to me how happy I was in that moment.

As I loaded up the glass, newspaper and plastic bottles (I know, I'm working on eliminating those bottles, too!), I looked at the eastern sky with the sun coming up and the dew on the grass and the birds chirping away and in that moment, it just didn't seem like life could get much better.

And I noticed that feeling.

That's the key.

Are you aware in any given moment exactly how you are feeling? Do you ever just check in at random times to see?

I wonder what we would notice if we did that more often. What do you think you'd find? More moments of happiness or more moments of frustration, anger, upset, stress?

I found this on a blog this morning (the same place I found the photo above). Makes you think. When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life.

When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when i grew up.
I wrote down "happy."
They told me I didn't understand the assignment
and I told them they didn't understand life.

What are "they" telling you that just doesn't matter anymore? Who are "THEY" anyway?

Feel happy today. Remember what that feels like and recreate it. Anytime. Anyplace.

I know you can do it!

Awareness

I'm thinking this morning about why it seems the people who are already the most aware are the ones who keep learning and growing and those who seem to "need it" the most are those who remain in the dark.

I hear stories all the time about other people who appear to be really lacking in areas like communication skills, compassion, empathy, respect, understanding. Rarely do we have conversations which involve ourselves and the lessons we can take from those others who seem to monopolize many of our waking hours (and sometimes even our restless sleeping hours).

In Good to Great, Jim Collins wrote about those others in the section about "First Who, Then What" when he said that leaders in organizations spend most of their time dealing with people who maybe shouldn't even be on the bus, instead of concentrating on first getting the people off the bus who shouldn't be there, then getting the right people on the bus and in the right seats. Only then should the bus driver decide where to go (not sure I agree with the order of that comment, but that's neither here nor there).

He said that often leaders are spending way more time on the people who probably shouldn't even be on the bus in the first place, thereby neglecting those champions who aren't really getting much positive attention.

Here's another way to explain that. The percentages may be different for different organizations, but let's assume there is 10% of an organization's employees who are wildly loyal and would do anything for the organization, 10% of an organization's employees who can never be pleased no matter what, and 80% of the employees who lie somewhere in the middle and can be swayed either way.

What happens most of the time is that the attention of the managers and supervisors goes to the bottom 10%, or those people who will never come around anyway. So where the attention goes, there goes the 80%. Instead, wouldn't it make more sense to spend more time rewarding and appreciating the behavior we want to attract the 80% in that direction?

This probably comes from our conditioning as little kids. We hear "NO" far more often than we hear "YES" growing up, so it would stand to reason that we spend more time trying to get others to agree with us than we do with those who already do.

Sometimes just coming to a new awareness is what it takes to get us to see things differently. And it seems those new "aha"s are most sustainable when we come to them on our own, instead of when we are pushed or coerced or forced to take them from others, especially others in authority.

So today, just notice something that frustrates or upsets you and pause. Take a deep breath and try to understand why you are upset. What is the message for you in that upset? If that something is actually someone, is there a chance for a different conversation? Might you ask a question instead of give a command? Maybe there's a way to use the three magic words in a conversation: "Help me understand."

Of course, the key is that you recognize the upset. We really do train people how to treat us by the way we show up. If people are giving you clues through their body language, that's probably the best information you can get, since 55% of communication is visual.

The only person you can change is you with the help of GOD. But first you have to be aware.

No Condemnation

Are you feeling guilty about something? Maybe something you’ve done in your marriage?

As a Christian, if you’ve repented and asked for forgiveness, then God promises to forgive you. Not only that, but He chooses to forget that sin even happened.

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus
Romans 8:1 (NKJV)

Forget about your past and quit beating yourself up over it. The past can’t be changed. But by dwelling on the past, it will negatively affect your present and future.

Having repented and having your sins forgiven AND forgotten, there’s no reason to keep reminding God of it. He wants to help you do and be better in the here and now, on into the future.

So quit letting satan talk you into feeling guilty about your past. Tell him that God’s forgiven you and that you’re moving forward in your life through Christ. A life that’s free from guilt and condemnation. A life that you’re going to allow God to lead away from that sin and into His blessings.

Are Arrows Flying in Your Marriage?

Who sharpen their tongue like a sword, And bend their bows to shoot their arrows—bitter words.
Psalm 64:3 (NKJV)

Picture this. Carrying a bow and some arrows, you walk into a room full of people. You then start shooting arrows all over the room. Some of those arrows hit the wall. Some hit the furniture. But some hit the other people. You look over to see one of those arrows sticking out of the chest of your spouse. You cry out that you didn’t mean to. You were just shooting around and weren’t planning on hitting anyone. But you did. And now they’re badly hurt. That arrow is out there and you can’t bring it back.

Your words can be like those arrows in that they can be devastating. People are hurt by words that are thoughtlessly spoken as much as words that are said with the intent to harm. And like those arrows, you can’t take them back. They’re already out there. Those wounds can take a long time to heal. Many people are still hurting from words that were said years earlier.

And even worse, many are silently suffering from things said by their husband or wife.
Your mouth is NOT a weapon. So don’t use it as one.
Is your spouse walking around with an arrow sticking out of them? An arrow that YOU shot?
Whether you meant to or not, those words hurt.

But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.
Matthew 12:36 (NKJV)

It’s said of a person who can come up with a quick remark to something someone else said that they are quick witted. In actuality, that would really be slow witted. They would be quick mouthed, but their mind hasn’t thought quickly enough about the pain they may cause if they shoot off their mouth. Many people are hurt while someone is trying to be smart or funny. Make sure your quick remarks aren’t tearing others down.

So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath
James 1:19 (NKJV)

Start taking time to think about what you are going to say to your spouse…and other people for that matter. Consider what negative affect your words may have on that person. Is what you are about to say something that you would want someone to say to you?

Remember you can’t take those arrows back.

Focus

In 2010, The Barna Group, a research company noted 6 major themes. In this release, the one that stood out to me as most concerning was this one.

Christians are becoming more ingrown and less outreach-oriented.

The opening sentence is the one that caught my attention the most.

Despite technological advances that make communications instant and far-reaching, Christians are becoming more spiritually isolated from non-Christians than was true a decade ago.

So, with Facebook, Twitter, websites, online worship, text messaging, email and other social media, we as Christians are not as connected to non-Christians as we were a decade ago. That should be alarming!

Wait a minute.

Churches and ministries have websites, Facebook pages, Twitter feeds, online worship, email newsletters, online polls and YouTube channels. Surely, with all these tools in use, we should be more connected right?

Right?

Well, maybe not.

We are out of focus.

While the story from Barna didn’t provide any details, I have a few guesses.

Yes, churches may have these tools, but it’s the way these tools are being used that is the culprit.
Specifically, I have seen Twitter and Facebook used in a “club” fashion. Unless you’re “in the know” the information being posted won’t make much sense. Additionally, there are many instances where there is very little information for the first time visitor/encounter.
Web pages are treated the same way. There is some amount of knowledge the site visitor must have to understand the information presented.

But, there are some churches that implement these tools VERY well. One of my favorites is Lifechurch.

Main website pages, facebook pages, etc are designed with the first time visitor/non-member in mind. There are many options to get more information and get connected.
Most ministries focus inward instead of outward.
I say the focus is in the wrong direction.
SO, how does your church/ministry fare in this area?

Knowledge v. Wisdom

1 Corinthians 1:20-21: Where is the wise man? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not come to know God, God was well-pleased through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe.

The other day I went with my daughter's god-Drae to pick her up from summer camp. Before we left the building the camp director stopped me and asked, "What can we do for your daughter to come here in the fall?" To be totally honest I was taken back because the school is one of the better montessori schools in the area. I was really excited at the potential advantages my daughter could receive by going to this school. Yes, she is two and Yes, she will be President one day. So we all know that getting our children into the best schools is imperative because knowledge is power.

As my wife and I discussed the pros and cons of sending our daughter to Montessori vs Christian schools God reminded us that the WISDOM through HIS WORD is far better than any knowledge that the world can provide. Now, I'm not saying that Christian schools are better than other schools what I am saying is the education of our children can be an all-consuming passion. We struggle to get them into the right schools, starting with preschool and continuing through graduate school. But we must keep in mind that a great education does not guarantee success in God's eyes. Many of today's schools, consider the message of the cross "foolish." To them it is a sign of weakness, disgrace, and low standing. As parents, we must counter that message with the truth that the world's knowledge does not save. The greatest secular education misses the point - only the cross can save.

Wisdom is available when we seek God. When we concentrate our efforts on teaching our children the value of an eternal perspective, we can worry a little less about the world's view of where wisdom can be found. Wisdom means so much more than just knowing a lot. It’s a principle that affects every aspect of our lives. The foundation of wisdom is to fear the Lord – to honor and respect God, to live in awe of his power, and to obey his Word. Faith in God should be the controlling principle for your understanding of the world, your attitudes, actions and your parenting.

Make asking for God’s wisdom in your parenting a regular part of your prayer life and watch what God will do!